Most of the people around me are looking at me funny these days. A lot of them probably think that I have lost it! If they only knew...I have finally FOUND it! I have found this fire that burns in other Christians. This fire that consumes you but never destroys you! It spreads through you and makes you want to write songs and let everybody know it exists. Now, if they would just stop looking at me like I was crazy! ; )
I have been a Christian for most of my life. There were a few years when, I guess you could say, I was estranged from God. Other than those years I have been a Christian in some form or another. Until recently, though, I haven't been as passionate about my faith as I could have been. There have been times when I was just going through the motions and there have definitely been times when I wasn't as Christian as I should have been. Yes, we are all sinners, and it is impossible to be perfect, but if we truly want to connect with Christ we have to turn away from the things that are keeping us from Him. These things truly are keeping US from HIM because He is always there. We are the ones staying away from Him. We let these sinful things pull us away from Him and then our guilt from our actions keep us away from Him. Anger, gossiping, profanity, judging others - these are just a few of the things that can drive a wedge between us and the Lord. There are many others but these are the ones I personally struggle with!
Life's distractions can get in the way and make for an apathetic Christian. Been there done that! We get into this routine of going to church mindlessly and then going home and forgetting about it, living our daily lives without a second thought to that Guy upstairs that happened to give His life for us. No biggie, right? Unfortunately, if we aren't connecting on a deeper level with Him then we are missing out on something pretty amazing. For quite a while this had been me.
Because of a few key things this year has been different for me. I don't know exactly what the first spark was that started the fire, but I'm pretty sure it was when I started reading my Bible every day. I've done this before, so this wasn't the only thing. The rest can only be attributed to a really good preacher who seems to get to the heart of things when he is doing a sermon series. There were two different sermon series that Heath preached on this year that both had a profound effect on my life. The first one was "The Fruit of the Spirit", based on Galatians 5:22 which says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Now anyone who knows me knows that I try my best to be nice to others so some of these I was pretty good with but when we get to patience I had to take a look at myself and realized that I needed some work on that. When we got to the last one, self-control, I knew I was in trouble for sure - especially when there is chocolate in the house! Seriously, though, I have always heard various people talk about the fruit of the spirit but I had never considered how and where I was lacking. I can remember one day in church thinking to myself that I was going to work to improve my weaknesses- and so it began.
The next important sermon series that got the ball rolling a little faster was called unChristian and it was based on a book by David Kinnaman that I am actually reading now. This book is a real eye-opener and if you haven't read it, you should! It speaks very bluntly to Christians about what people outside of the faith think of us and how they view us because of our actions. The biggest complaint amongst those who are not Christians when they look at us is that we are hypocrites. Don't worry this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to scathing things that might be said about us, but sadly you can also see the truth in a lot of the things that are said against us. This sermon series also really hit home with me. I started asking myself what others think of me as a Christian and if by looking at me and getting to know me would that lead others to want to become a Christian or would it make them want to run the other way?
One morning soon after this series I made a decision to immerse myself in the Lord. That morning I read my Bible like I always do, and then I downloaded some Christian books onto my Kindle. When I got into the car I turned the radio over to K-LOVE, the Christian radio station and made it one of my presets. I started talking to God and then actually LISTENING. This is what true peace is. No worrying, no thinking, just being - with God! Now I know what all the hoopla has been about. This Guy is pretty awesome!!
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